Ever had one of those days when you don’t have the motivation to get out of bed? I know I have. Do you have a dream or ambition you know you could achieve if only you put in the work, yet for mysteriously rational reasons, you keep putting it off?
In contrast, I bet there have been times when you were so excited to do something or go somewhere, you felt like you could move heaven and earth to make it happen.
What makes us swing from highly motivated to ‘meh’?
Understanding motivation isn’t just dry academic theory—it’s the key to understanding why we do what we do and why we sometimes can’t be bothered, even with the things we want to do.
The Motivation Tug of War: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic
Let’s break it down. There are two main players in the game of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic (fancy words for internal & external).
Extrinsic motivation is the classic carrot-on-a-stick. It includes things like money, fame, praise, or even a thumbs-up on your social media post. Anything that comes from the outside world, usually at the completion of a task or achievement of a goal, and the recognition that follows.
Intrinsic motivation, on the other hand, comes from within, driving you to do things for the sheer joy or satisfaction of doing them. Maybe it’s painting, cooking, or watching a Netflix series you love. When you’re intrinsically motivated, you don’t need a pat on the back for doing something. Just doing it is reward enough.
Both types of motivation are important. You’ve got to earn a living, so your salary or that bonus you hope to earn at the end of the year are important motivators. It’s nice to feel appreciated or recognized. So a post that goes viral or a “good job” from the boss is motivating. But relying solely on extrinsic motivation can be a trap in the long term.
My Story: Rediscovering My Intrinsic Motivation
I’ve been a professional trainer for more than 25 years, working with a wide variety of audiences. From young, passionate, hungry, aspiring professionals to bored, seen-it-all, know-it-all, cushy-job executives. As my reputation grew, I started working more with the latter group.
My sessions became more ceremonial, with bigger crowds in larger venues (complete with chandeliers) and lengthy introductions by a chairperson. My audiences were less excited to be there—executives who couldn’t pull their eyes away from their phones, always having to step out because they have an “important” call or message.
Without realizing it, I found myself falling into the extrinsic reward trap. I wasn’t enjoying my sessions as much as I used to, but couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I love my work (like, fiercely 🙂 ), but something was missing. “Be grateful”, I told myself. “You’re working with management teams of multinational brands in fancy boardrooms, and getting paid thousands of dollars. This will look great on your resume.” Right?
I remember a nagging feeling at the end of one of those high-profile sessions. Sure, I’d lived up to my reputation, got a standing ovation, delivered great value, even managed to unglue most of my audience from their phones. But I felt drained and exhausted—perhaps a little empty.
Comparing that feeling with how I’d felt with smaller crowds, people who were more eager to learn and develop, I realized that my true intrinsic reward came from sharing or teaching something that helped someone overcome a challenge, perhaps even change their life.
The Solution is Within
After some reflection, I realized what I had to do. I got in touch with several non-profit organizations and volunteered to train people who couldn’t afford my high corporate rates.
And let me tell you, within a few minutes of starting one of those pro-bono sessions, the difference was clear as day. I wasn’t doing it because I was contractually obligated to, or because I was being paid very well, or because this would look good on my resume. Nope, I was there because these people believed they truly needed the knowledge and expertise I had to share, and they not only appreciated it but were eager to put it into practice.
As I walked out of my first volunteer session, I felt I’d discovered a time machine. I literally felt a few years younger. There was a bounce in my step, a warmth in my heart, and the realization that I’d found my intrinsic reward again.
When you’re driven by intrinsic motivation, it’s easier to get out of bed. Work doesn’t feel like “hard” work. It feels like fun and purpose. It’s worth more than those fancy boardroom snacks. (There, I said it.)
The Power of Intrinsic Rewards
Intrinsic motivation is often more sustainable and satisfying. When you’re intrinsically motivated:
• Your engagement is deeper. You’re more likely to lose track of time because you’re genuinely interested in what you’re doing. You’re no longer on the clock, you’re on a roll.
• Your creativity flourishes. Freed from the constraints of external expectations, you’re more likely to think outside the box and set your mind free to discover new territory.
• Your satisfaction is self-sustaining. You don’t rely on external validation to feel rewarded; the activity itself is its own reward. A pat on the back becomes nice, but not required.
How to Motivate Yourself Intrinsically
But what happens when intrinsic motivation fades, or when it’s hard to find it in the first place? Here are a few ideas to ignite and rekindle that inner flame:
• Rediscover your purpose. Sometimes, we lose sight of why we fell in love with doing something in the first place. Take time to remind yourself of the purpose of your actions.
• Define personal values & goals. Align your activities with your personal values and set goals that are meaningful and fulfilling to you, not just KPIs and targets that are expected of you.
• Challenge yourself. When things become mundane, it may be a sign that they’ve become a little too easy. Break the business as usual cycle and give yourself the thrill of discovering uncharted territory.
• Learn something new. Mastering a new skill can be very intrinsically rewarding. It takes us on a thrilling journey of uncertainty, curiosity, wonder, discovery and eventually personal validation.
• Social Impact . Think about how your activities can have a wider impact. I like to think that the families of those I train and coach, their children, their spouses, might benefit indirectly from my work.
• Regularly assess and calibrate. As you grow and your circumstances change, your intrinsic motivations may shift. Review and adjust your goals to ensure they still align with your internal drive.
Weening Yourself Off of Extrinsic Rewards
We can’t do away with extrinsic rewards altogether. You’ve got to get paid for your labor. You’ve got to earn a living, pay the bills, and put food on the table. And when you’re hungry for it, extrinsic rewards can be effective motivators, but they come with pitfalls:
• They can diminish intrinsic interest. If you’re too focused on the reward, you might lose sight of why you enjoyed the activity in the first place.
• They can create dependency. You might start relying on other people’s validation, which puts you at the mercy of other people and circumstances. If your boss is stingy with praise, it can really hurt.
• They diminish in value over time. The first time you get a thousand likes and shares on a Facebook post feels amazing, the second, third, and fourth time, less so. That salary hike or promotion is an event to celebrate, but a few months later it will fade into life as usual. If your boss says “good job” all the time, it may become meaningless.
Strategies to Reduce Reliance on Extrinsic Motivation
• Focus on the process, not the outcome. Enjoy the journey rather than just the destination. Yes, I know it sounds a bit cliche, but in a world of quarterly and annual results, KPI’s and targets, it’s so easy to focus solely on the outcomes without enjoying the process.
• Compare yourself to you. Measure progress not by how you measure up to others, but against your own past performance and how far you’ve come. Use your own past performance as a benchmark to evaluate yourself. Be proud of your own growth and improvement.
• Celebrate personal wins. Find joy in accomplishments that are meaningful to you along the way, not just in the big rewards at the end. To others, you might be praised for completing a task or a goal, but to you the joy might come from having used a new approach.
• Set your own standards. Let your deeper values and beliefs show you what you find truly meaningful. Shift your focus from what others believe is rewarding to what truly gives you personal satisfaction and fulfillment.
Conclusion
My goal in writing this article is to remind you (and myself) that our motivation shapes how we approach our lives. While extrinsic motivation is the stuff we can show off to friends as proof that we’ve done well for ourselves, it’s the intrinsic motivation that truly fuels our energy and makes it worth getting out of bed. How is your intrinsic motivation?
This article changed my understanding of motivation . thank you so much !
Great to hear that. Stay tuned, cause there’s a lot more to explore on motivation.