You have plenty of reasons to feel good about yourself. And that’s just a fact. You may have plenty of other reasons not to. And you may choose to focus on what makes you feel good about yourself or not.
That’s entirely up to you.
But I will reiterate:
We all have many great reasons to feel absolutely fantastic about ourselves.
We have flaws, we have shortcomings, we’ve all made mistakes, and we likely will continue to do so.
But every single person reading these words, no matter who they are, where they are, or what their background is, has many different reasons to feel good about themselves.
And here’s the first.
1. Your Experiences
Consider your experiences, some of them, perhaps painfully difficult as they were.
They’re your unique fingerprint, if you like. A combination of journeys, difficulties, challenges, and experiences that I’m sure have caused you much concern.
But those experiences have also contributed to many of your understanding, skills and abilities.
Where others might be shaken, your experiences, even the rough ones, might keep you calm and collected.
And those moments differ from one person to another, whether it’s in the kitchen or the boardroom.
When you’ve put out a fire before, you tend to be less shaky the next time it happens.
So take stock of your experiences, especially those you’ve learned from, and feel good about them. Turning those experiences into trophies you can be proud of requires a change of mindset.
A mind that’s focused more on the future.
Learning from the past without spending too much time regretting it or reliving its pain on a loop.
A simple “That happened then. This is what I can do now.” philosophy.
It’s a mindset that allows you to look back at some of those tough, painful experiences you thought you might never survive and cherish the fact that you did.
Rather than continuously reliving the pain, consider how far you’ve come since then.
And how far you could still go.
Because you can reinterpret even some of your toughest experiences as learning journeys.
And that’s just the first reason you should feel good about yourself.
2. Your Talents
It’s not that anybody is lacking in talent. It’s that sometimes we want talents other than the ones we have.
The guy who’s good with numbers but wishes he could be the lead singer in a rock band.
The lady who’s so talented at putting people at ease but dismisses it as no talent at all. Just the way normal people deal with other people.
Even when it’s demonstrated to her that other people don’t, much of the time.
She still refuses to consider her communication and people skills a real talent.
Now, you can also look the other way and consider your talents and abilities… meh. Normal.
Likely because we tend to favour upward comparison.
At the gym, you’re looking at the guy with massive arms, lifting heavier weights than you.
Maybe aspiring to be him.
But you only spare a glance at the poor kid who joined yesterday, struggling with breadstick arms and legs.
Upward comparison can keep you unaware of your talents and abilities.
But so can a fake sense of humbleness.
When we want to hear it from others, get acknowledgement, praise, or recognition.
And some degree of that is fine.
Yet at some point, you have to decide:
Right. I am obviously better than 80% of the general population at such and such.
Get the vanity out of the way and admit it.
Then you can actually fully utilise your talents and abilities.
If colleagues keep saying you should take the meetings with new clients because you tend to make a great first impression, don’t shake it off in embarrassment.
That’s just your ego saying, “Oh, I like hearing that, and I wanna hear it more from other people.”
Just start admitting to yourself your talents and abilities, no matter how trivial they seem to you in comparison to others. Even if they aren’t those you wish you were born with.
Especially those abilities that people have been pointing out to you for years and you’ve been brushing off.
Next time somebody pays you a compliment on a behaviour or an ability, instead of mumbling something like…
“Ah, that was nothing. Everybody does that. Anybody could do that.”
Stop.
Take it in like you’re taking a deep breath.
Thank that person genuinely.
And later, maybe spend some time assimilating the idea that you are actually good at certain things. Perhaps even better than most people.
And that’s all right. It’s OK to admit, acknowledge, and even cherish yourself for what you’re good at.
And I know there’s an opposing voice in your head saying, “No, we should spend more time beating ourselves up for what we’re bad at.”
That’s totally up to you.
I’m just calling for a little balance.
Acknowledge your talents and abilities, so you can own them and fully utilize them.
That will probably make you feel good about yourself.
But you’ll feel even better when you’ve put those talents to use to benefit yourself and those around you.
And every time you do that, you feel good about yourself.
Alright, shall we move on to reason number three?
3. Your World
We all live in different worlds. Our worlds. The ones that our minds focus on and amplify.
And perhaps never throughout the history of humanity has this been more true than in this day and age.
We all have our own means of using technology to dive into our own worlds, affirm our own beliefs, and dig deeper into our own individual rabbit holes.
Yet I believe, from experience, both personal and that of those I’ve worked with, that each of us can shape that world.
Not only that, but in our unique and different worlds, each of us has great opportunities and blessings.
I would even go so far as to say that your world is uniquely conspiring in your favor.
Hundreds, perhaps thousands of times a day.
Don’t believe me?
In the time it took you to read the previous paragraph, your body likely inhaled and exhaled.
At least once, perhaps several times.
No matter what this article is making you think or feel, your body is continuously conspiring in the background to keep you alive, safe, and well.
And that’s just your physical biology. That magnificent microscopic world within you, continuously working to keep you alive and well.
Now consider your external environment.
A kind word or gesture? A hopeful piece of news? A comfortable chair? A good meal? A revealing conversation? An educational moment? An opportunity?
Sure, there are lots of threats in your world and mine.
And our minds tend to focus on threats more than opportunities.
It’s part of our natural programming. To keep us alive.
But in your world and mine, there are plenty of opportunities.
Now, I don’t know your world, so I can’t claim to know or tell you what specific opportunities your world is offering you.
But remember, I did point out that each of us contributes to shaping our world through our minds.
Now, more than ever, what we choose to focus our minds on becomes our world.
So it’s up to you to put the phone down, pull your eyes away from that tiny screen (or even a large one) after reading this article, and take a good, hard look at your world.
Spot the magic.
Notice all the wonderful things.
And if you’re really stumped and can’t see much to impress you, just flip your perspective.
Notice what you’d miss if it wasn’t there.
From the big things to the small.
That should help you recognise some of the wonderful things that make up your own personal world.
And from there, it’s up to you whether you keep your mind focused on those things you find wonderful in your world.
Or let it drift off and become preoccupied with everything you find lacking or at fault.
One final note.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t pay attention to the things you find faulty in your world.
In fact, a good cause is what the next article is all about.
Finding fault with something and working to fix it can make us feel great, even fantastic, about ourselves.
(See talents above.)
But taking a moment to acknowledge and appreciate how much our world has to offer, from the fascinating internal world of our own biology to the social, natural, phenomenal world we each live in…
Can make each of us feel really good about ourselves.